dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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