Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
