Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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