Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
