WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
