I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
