i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
