Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
