I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
