he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize