You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Let the clothes fall where they may.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
