She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
