took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
