My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
