where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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