Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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