All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
