honey bunches of taint.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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