The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Damn victory sex feels great
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
