FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize