look no pants
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
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