The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Im just a social blackout drinker.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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