Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
