did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
is that a dick in a sweater?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
