i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
