U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
