I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
