Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
