I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
