goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
