to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize