Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
