Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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