Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
