I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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