names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
