So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize