dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
