Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
