people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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