If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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