my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize