walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
third nipple confirmed
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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