Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You need a sexual gate keeper
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ladies don't puke and tell
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