ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
