I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize