You work out of a Hotel?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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