We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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