i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
