Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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