idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
