my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
