I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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