She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
