i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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