Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
